Keeper of Stories

067As a therapist who specializes in deployment, I find myself in the position of Keeper of Stories.  Week after week, soldier after soldier trusts me to offer them a shoulder, an ear, a safe place to just “be”. It is a sacred job, to just hold the space for them. After so many years as a therapist, it is impossible to be shocked with the content of people’s personal stories anymore. The responsibility of keeper of stories that took place in the theater of war is a big one.  From time to time I have to take a step back and seek my own sacred space in order to shed the stories and refresh my soul so that I can process the new ones awaiting me at my next session. I am grateful for my family and my yoga teachers who facilitate that process for me just by allowing me to keep to myself. My son, a SSgt. on a permanent rotation in the middle east once told me that “some stories can never be told mom“. So the silences between the soldiers and I become just as sacred as the stories themselves.


Cold & Lonely

After a wonderful 3 days with my son awhile ago, I said goodbye again. Spending the evening with highly decorated service members telling me how much they appreciated my son’s work was one of the proudest moments of my life. Writing about zenning up as a military parent hasn’t been as therapeutic as it once was. I’ve been frozen at the keyboard, erasing everything that I write because even basic Information is too sensitive to share, even when our loved ones leave and come back in is too sensitive to discuss on the blog. So I’m finding my comfort in providing counseling services to our military through my practice as a therapist. I feel like I’m actually doing something, something honest and true to help these families. I miss my son. Last message from him was about the lousy weather. So of course I’ve spent the last few days feeling that lousy weather right along with him. I always take on the feelings of my kids. When my daughter gets sick, I feel her symptoms even though I’m not sick. When my son is tired, the fatigue I feel is overwhelming. He never states that he’s tired, but I can hear it in his voice. I worry. This time more than others. Praying more than usual. Through my work with the military I’ve learned so much. Too much. So now, I’m left to worry from a different perspective. Zenning up has taken on a whole new meaning this year. My son was able to see my granddaughters for a quick minute before he left. They adore him, just look at these faces. He has to come home safe for them. He just has to. alley and the girls Peace, love and little donuts.